This is Erzulliesta Joanne (not her real name). She sends us this fantastic and fierce piece about being a fat, single woman and why it’s a choice and not the size. The piece is edited for brevity.
Let me get this straight — being single has nothing to do with size because this situation spans across all shapes, ages and sizes of womanity out there. So what’s the hoopla about me being fat and single — and “fat” being the reason?
Stupidity. That is what is call it.
At first, I was toying with the idea as I see my petite officemates get one date after another. But then, one time, my gay friend and I had a date and she told me this, “Joanne, you are single because you choose it to be.”
“What? I didn’t choose to be 33 and alone.” I snapped back.
“Yes you did because if you really wanted to have a man, you should be on a date right now.” She replied.
“I’d rather wait for the right man than date every man.” I said frustrated.
“There you go. You just said it.”
That’s where it hit me. I am single because I chose to be. There are a lot of guys that would take interest in me, but the truth is, I am just not interested in them. I am out there but I like to screen the men that I associate with — what’s wrong with that? Nothing.
It’s called standards and every woman should have one. From then on, I felt happy knowing that me being single is a matter of choice, and I can change it any time that I want. So sisters, remember — single is a life choice and our fats did not choose it for us.